Diwali Cleanup...

Well... This is the tradition of almost 90% Indians, to cleanup the homes on the occasion of festival of lights.10% could be like me, sitting and penning down thoughts or prefer to move out and celebrate the festival on streets with friends. We can say the lazy ones ;) But its not about the cleanliness habit of Indian but a very unusual event we all witness while that clean up. And that is, appearance of stuffs out of blue moon and bringing thousand memories along. "We don need changes in the house but we need to change this messy house..." Prompted Neha for she is the one playing with the pool of dirt while I am just sitting , giggling , cracking jokes like an inspector inspecting the entire activity while supervising all at work. "Wasn't it the dream house, when we got in lady.. The washroom, the shower, the basins... " Instantly I replied as my usual habit of blabbers without thought. But I did think , infact remembered about time when we shifted years back. This house was mama's dream for she always wanted to come back to the place she had lived with convenience. When we shifted to the vihar ,she wasn't happy for commutation was challenge. Accessibility for market, school, neighbors.. Big Challenge! But how do women refuse the first home which belonged only to the couple. The first dream purchase of 95% Indian couple for this is how bollywood spoils us. Dream house, own house. That was a small one, just a room and entire family.... I don remember many thing about the time just, we were happy.. Use to be happy... Just one or two fights of my parents but we were happy. It was class 5th when we shifted to Nagar. I remember me and Neha going gaga over the house for it was like a big play ground for us. Youngest one was too small to be party of celebration. But then, it was fun being here... The decos, the kitchen (which was huge than the previous one), the shower where we both sisters love bathing as it was an experience for us. We never had much stuff to fill all place the house has to offer. It was in few years that it took us to get the rest stuffs. Always I did insist on having separate room for 'us' but then slowly it became separate rooms for the parents... The fights here were big like the house... Privacy here was big... Differences... "Our" house got into many phases "your", "mine" , "pathetic" , "problematic", "messy"... The house became the culprit. I though have left it few years back for I decided that whoever it belonged to, it didn't belong to me.. I needed my space ... So, over 3 years and gradually taking in more names the house still seem to smile sometimes reflecting the joy of its earlier days but mostly I still see it gloomy. I don like it much beside the fact that I have my family here. But being little generic and thinking beyond my sphere... If I ever ponder upon, I feel proud over this little architecture for over years it has been part of all moments of our life, took care of us... It just sometimes, I feel being a human and believer "everything has life and feeling", we forgot to take care of "The House"... And then I see... Old red suitcase bag, on which me n Neha fought for she wasn't ready to share that with me. Covered under dust of age old non-maintainence. Toys, over which we fought so much being young... Lying ideal without being dusted in these past years... My trophies, each talk about the hard work which was put in earning them seems to have lost value for they have not been admired for so many years... Stock of sarees packet being bitten by rats scaring my mom to her skin of them being ruined but another example of indifference over something collected with so much love... I often wonder about maa complaints of sadness around... Is that complaint just the reflection of sadness of these non-living stuffs which we seem to have ignored for years , each collected with so much love? I would never get to measure it for being a piscean I am over imaginative with life when, people do not even have time to ponder on self. Things spread around are getting packed and stocked again.. And here I am still wondering, is this also the reason of our sadness and loneliness when we start doing same with memories and people... Collection with love and then stocking without care... Seems I should get back on helping the ladies before I am brought back from thoughts with good comments on my lazyness.. With evening settling in Delhi's heart and festivity at its rise with the crackling sounds... Wish all be blessed this Diwali :)

Fragrance evoking soul...

After months, there is this strong urge to pen the thoughts down. Guess, this often happens when feelings are beyond control like it happens when we instantly kiss some one and then only thing we remember is the pleasure post that. One thing I am still smiling about is that I am actually writing (along with smile) in a full packed board room, in a mid of a meeting... Like its just the body sitting here and soul is far off flying somewhere in the arena of the past. It is the smell, a unique smell of a body lotion which has put me back in thoughts for this fragrance was my part for over 3 year, not because I am fond of the product but because it gave me warmth of being around someone. As its well said and quoted "Remembrance is not about Physical presence." And it do surprises me, how can a fragrance being away from the senses for over years can bring back strong memories like its brand presence. Might be it is the autumn eve, for peeping out of window have already put me in arms of Delhi evenings, hot cup of coffee beside India Gate, troll in the heart of big city and the waits... Long waits of the heart , desires, eyes, smile... And then the dimpled smile with intense eyes which got through the soul... Making heart realize for being blessed with love. A fragrance can do so much to the mind... Can tease the heart and set the soul free... Reminds me of the "dream flower" add but then, sometimes dreams of past do ends up as memoirs in future. Sweet and tempting...
Lots of Love! Anji

The time wings...

Often do we hear our oldies say.. Time has wings.

They usually refer to this statement in daughter 's marriage or when a son become father... Sometimes also when we get our first salaries or maybe a degree at college. For they have seen us growing from the time we were in the pram. Playing with those charms our parents put on top to keep us engaged and at peace than our activities of pooping, sleeping and other bothering we were good with.

Somehow, sitting at one of the stores of my organization I am able to relate to these 2 words "time flies.." I am no where at the counter wearing the red and white with the smile on my face addressing the crowd with some formal language being taught as part of my job.. I do not see those familiar faces roaming on the floor though there are some similar kinds roaming here and there rushing through the day 's operation, closing on the sales and other target with a worry like if they didn't do what is expected, world's gonna end.

I walk-in to the manager's cabin.. A cabin always been a favorite for initial years when I walked in that I saw a face with a smile which haunts thought till date if the name occurs or after those years anybody who walked in saw my smiling face coz the cabin spoke with me always and ofcourse, it was my thoughts being alive in every form. Today, I am the visitor and ofcourse the cabin no more talks to me.

3 years its been I am out of store, but 3 years I have been visiting as many as possible as often it permits to join in the bits and pieces which suddenly got missing.. Today its the same visit as a senior visitor , observing team, smiling around, sharing feedbacks ... But , deep in heart.. With an urge to get back in that red and white.. I so want to take that counter again, smile at the crowd walk-in by.. Passing by ... Cracking few jokes with the person sitting next to me and sharing some eye talks with the one I front.. But then I also know that the time has flown..

Time has flown to be back on those counter and rushing to manager's cabin for enjoying somebody's smile or to be on those floor and ensuring that people have their smiles intact or be in the cabin to welcome few with a heartful smile for it felt so warm with them around.. Time has changed to being the visitor now for that is what the present is.. That is what I am now.. That is what it all was meant to be..

Lots of Love! Anji

"Let the heart flow and rise to the desires of soul.. Let not the feelings be beheld as happiness is deserved by all.."

So.. Sitting beside the window and being in complete ecstasy of the pain that's being sipped by the heart I do not feel, it could have been the better time for the new experiences witnessed via a novel of my favourite writer...

The story talked about a lot to be absorbed in one reading. Love, money, Dreams, Prostitution, Pride, sex, love making, pain, freedom, hope, peace, completeness, belonging, adventure.. Well, so much what women desire and so less that society agrees...

Well, maybe it is just the rough mood or the sour fight which put me to the thought but then somewhere we are forced to agree on realities of the life, relationships... Mother says that one should always follow the way of society for people who challenge it are either doing wrong and trying to cover it all with their attitude or they are still too immature to start up with their ways.

But my question is.. Why can't one be happy?

If your spouse do not will to live with you anymore for the comfort and peace they wanted from you is being experienced at other luxury.. Why can't they be allowed to go accepted with a simple smile as this was the only way to happiness..

Being in love and completely enjoying the dependency of each other one day when one realize that other had its own challenges, weakness and fear to go ahead, why can't that relationship be dropped for the sake of each other and moving on can be sailed through with happiness..

When it seem that life has knocked us down and only hope , need, desire is the love of people we love and care.. Why don we make them hear that and know that how much they are important for us and how much do we need them at that moment of life and how much we want them to stay and be our strength for in that moment of loneliness and despair.. They are our only strength.. Our only source of happiness..

Why do we dwell in egos and can never show how much a person mean to us.. Breaking of heart is way beyond our control but why don we accept that we need that heart to be healed by the one we desire.. Why do we get so scared on passing on that love just because of the fear of not dwelling into anymore heart breaks.. Why is it that we become so cautious to our own doors to happiness..

If we feel bad about anything we ensure that we get that passed onto everybit related to us.. But then why do we do not let the happiness of other's heart be reason for our own smiles.. Guess, we all know answers to our question and we all also know what we well desire and deserve.. Its just we have got so accustomed to the fear of our own devils and negatives that we just do not let ourself float on the tunes of our own heart and get that waves being passed on the lips and then to the eyes.. Its like we have sentenced ourself to unhappiness for we believe we do not deserve even this simple pleasure of life..

"Let the heart flow and rise to the desires of soul.. Let not the feelings be beheld as happiness is deserved by all.."

Lots of Love! Anji

Life is all about being you and being happy!

Sometimes we make life more complicated than it is. We attach our happiness to achievement and then look for it in all the wrong ways and in all the wrong places.

Of course, you don’t have to live like this. If you feel like you are, it’s time to simplify things. It’s time to clear the air and get back to the basics.

Simplifying your pursuit of happiness is not seeing how little you can get by with – that’s poverty – but how efficiently you can put first things first, and use your time accordingly to pursue the things that make a difference and mean the most to you.

To truly flourish in life you have to let go a little, lose yourself in the moment and become fused with other people, experiences, and tasks.

This happens sometimes when you are engrossed in a challenge, or when the artist inside you becomes one with the creative task at hand.  It happens sometimes while you’re playing sports, or listening to music, or lost in a good book, or when you feel completely enveloped by another’s love.  And it happens most when you emotionally connect with someone who shares your visions.

In other words, long-term happiness isn’t just about conscious achievement; it’s also about the unconscious part of your mind naturally inter wining with the ideas, passions, work, people, songs, and stories that move you... :)

If somebody ask me, what makes me happy..? Well, my answer to that won't be big disc parties,  expensive shopping list , world tours... But, it includes one simple night at gurudwara with friends, or watching a movie which relates to my emotions, reading a book which takes u too a dream land, sitting quietly besides my pet and playing to the tune of his innocent games, spending time with kids, a simple coffee with an old friend listening to as how their life have moved on, listening to music on silent nights,  laying besides the one I love and listening to his heart talks...

Life is quiet simple, full of simple pleasures and yet we confuse it so much with all our long list of desires.  Waiting for the perfect one for our entire life indeed we do forget that how much fun it is to know a stranger and how full of life it is to spend some extraordinary moment with them to be cherished later in memoirs.
With our lives, we get so busy settling on to our living standards n society pleasures that we forget that time spent at college with empty pockets but most genuine smiles still give us a warm feeling inside which is unbeatable to any of the expensive nights spent at a 5 star.

No wonder as somebody have said.. "Life is all about living one day at a time..." Maybe this one day is also about people we love, like, wanna spend our time with, wanna act crazy along, be full of flaws and still laugh over it like insanes, one we can sleep peacefully without being bothered about the morning next for we are sure that it will only be beautiful, people we can laugh around, cry our hearts too, can demand a hug and force it also sometimes, can always steal a smile and give it back any moment...

Life is all about being you and being happy... So, let's live today and be sure of only one thing.. "We lived it well!" :)

Lots of Love! Anji