mujhe yun hi tanha rehne do...

mujhe yun hi tanha rehne do, kuch pal to hai bas yaadon ka sama... kasak hai thodi aur thodi mayusi bhi, uski yaadon me ashk kuch pal to behne do... jaante hain hum dastur-e-duniya, bandishen hi sahi par kehne do... kab guzri hai zindagi yun hi apno se kafa, mohabbat hai unse kabool hone do... galtiyon se seekhta hai insaan, zindagi hai meri mujhe bhi thoda sehne do... kuch pal to rahi hai abb saansen, zinda hun abhi ye ehsaah to rehne do... Toot jaaten hain har thokar se unke, sambhalna aata hai ye bayan karne do... Katra katra hi sahi, bahut pyari hai aarzu hamen... Dil hi to toota hai, hamen thoda sambhalen do...

mujhe yun hi tanha rehne do...

Lots of Love! Anji

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings !

The free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and is tune is heard
on the distant hillfor the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Maya Angelou

Lots of Love! Anji

beyond the pain... We find love!

Just read few days back...

 “People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

Only thing it made me ponder upon is this really that easy? If u accept pain, people tends to treat you with pity. As if, going through pain is the most cursed life being bestowed to you. But, then I guess even the strongest and happiest people around have their own stories. It maybe just the width and depth that differs but we all have been given our shares!

Some days back I just came in touch with the gentleman who have lectured me on possibilities of my life filled with misery and sorrow for the straight front I put up. Being called an "open book" was taken as an offense for me portraying myself being a public property just because getting used to some downfall in relationships. But, instantly my question was "is it bad to be straight forward?" And then, if people are not able to accept others with their reality problem is their why should they even except the others to change?

One of my ex had been all regret ful about the relationship we had shared for he takes it to be his complete mistake that on the time and investment given onto the relation as a friend, he thought of taking it to new level. I always wonder why these kinds of corporate morons even fall in relationship, they do not even deserve to be accompanied! A person, talking about levels of relationship depending on time and investments done have no value for the care and love being put into relationship and not even the pain somebody would have gone through keeping their smiles on inspite their continuous fights with own world. Completely agree with the writer of the quote "being strong sucks!" For world is filled with people who only let their burden fall for the stronger one to handle the battles alone.

I always wonder and believe that God have his strange way of communication with us , for he is the only one who never leaves us in our toughest time and beside all strength he provide us to sail through the pain he also ensures to get back our spirits back to us. And one thing I realized communicating to him is that "love is through pain"... If you have not taken pains for people you love, you have not given them enough.
That's what Jesus have done or Lord Rama or Almighty Shiva... This is what our parents does for ue everyday, or the wives taking care of all roles and being the "super- woman" of home, our teachers, loved ones.. They take the pain... For us!

So, its okay to be in pain sometimes, cry our hearts, share and show our emotions and accept our weakness, fight and complain.. but never should be forget that beyond the pain... We will always find love!

And we will realize once in a lifetime with true heart n soul shared without putting the corporate calculations that..

Pain fades with time ... But Love blossoms.

Lots of Love! Anji

To sir, with Love!

So here is something I wanted to express for soooo looonnggg.. And what's best than the teacher's day to share the feelings ?

This time its again about someone I have wrote n mentioned few times already.. A 6'6 feet gentleman, a soft heart in a tough body... My dear and lovely sir... Rajeev Gupta.

He always make me feel a lot gratitude towards him for the sheer qualities he display. A mentor, for I have seen him working with his team along , grooming them with his full efforts on. A guardian, for professional or personal problems he has always given his full ears to them and gone all out to get the happiness back in his team's life. A friend, for he will always keep the group intact celebrating all joys and success with pride and also sharing all low moments n failures with an energetic smile, pushing back the positive life to team.

But, 2 most beautiful qualities I admire about him is the dotting father n husband. He has been one of the Best man I ever came across and yes, completed too for the better half Mrs Anu Gupta compliments him to the perfection.

Spending 1.5yrs of my life with him and his family have completely blessed my life for few moments of life which were hopes, have been made to be turned in reality.

Only thing I can say that the gratitude can never be expressed in words for all the love and care which had been (n I m sure will continue as monthly/daily subscription) bestowed had been priceless and one of the most desired wish of the life.

Thank you so much to you n Anu mam for being there...

Lots of Love! Anji

An experience of divine: Ashwinikhadd!

Writing about this is as important as an artist paint the canvas putting his day and night on his thoughts for he is afraid that it might get lost with the passing day or will fade off with so much to do around.

Though cold is not my weather but hills always attract me. Maybe to end number of tourist for they spend so much time and money to visit all beauty around and be part of the list of being visitor to the nature's delight. This is about the sunday visit at Kasauli.

Day started on with the heavy pour of the rains and suddenly chandigarh seemed to be floating in its own pool. But thanks to the new Himalayan Express highway, we were on winds soon the moment we left Panchkula. Some 2hrs drive and we reached the famous visitor point of Kasauli- The Manki point or temple where lord Hanuman put his feet at time of carrying sanjeevani for Laxman. This feet shaped temple suddenly holds the serenity of the divine for the songs which played throughout the climbed somewhat not only pacified the mind but also made me feel refreshed n revived for sunday morning are late sleeps for me and current health is completely in demand for rest. Guess, sanjeevani did work not only for the mind but for the body too.

We missed on the sun-rise and sun-set point for neither we made it to the rise nor had any plan to rest till it set. Visiting one of the Graveyard there (thoughts here,maybe later!), we moved to the next destination decided for we had entire day with us!

Solan city is beautiful like any of the himachali town. Small compact and my companions decided to move to Ashwani-Khadd some12km from the mushtroom city. (I really don know, why they call it this but next time I will enquire for sure.)
Hills had been an usual drive for me for past 1yr.. Been there almost thrice n that too confidently taking praise from all my friends for my skilled driving. But, the challenge today were not the built highways but the real mountain.. Raw, unbuilt and dangerous.

The 12km of Blind curves, steep slopes and a car without a spare tire actually scared the hell out of me and if it would have been about the next paragraph I am moving to, I would have been punished for three murders today or kidnapping (if I would have decided to leave the 3 monkeys at the Khadd only).

So.. 12km from Solan, after the crazy drive, frustration and rest after parking the car, I entered Heaven!

Ashnikhhad.. A heaven in making , brought alive all my readings of myths. Getting in the architect excellance, I was just mesmerized... Life size status of every form of divinity I loved, making me more attracted toward them and falling me more in love. Work beyond words.. Creativity beyond excellence.. The heaven upholded me for all dreams, passions I always had!

For a moment,it seemed... This is what I want, this is where I belong.. Aura, filled with love, space beyond the creative imagination.. Shiva.. Again did he put me in trance .. Love, gratitude and honor. Tears could only express the feel for words left me for those moments, and if it wouldn't have been the companions, I would have never liked to express ever again with them.

And then, like dreams.. It all got over. I retrieved to my mortal world, my pschyic responsibility, my social accountabities.. I moved back to the world of traffic lights, noise,crowd..

A piece lost somewhere, I m back to my bed. Thinking about the world I left for the world I own...

Lots of Love! Anji