Just a thought... reality bites? ;)

Sometimes it feels great to cut off urself from outside world, its not like I do not want to be in crowd (well, most time I am the entertainer) but, being with yourself have a different aura, its peaceful.

My current zonal head often says, behind great success is bigger crime for success motivates us to commit them, but don't know why but I am in a confused agreement with the sentence. I believe, that anything you do wit full heart and passion will get you success, but is it really criminal?

Having ur passion and living your dream... But yes, maybe.. Provided that the success is in cordinance with your dream. I observe lot people who want to do several million things when they retire but yes, they do not wanna gamble on their dreams.. Result.. Two path varies.

It always seems that we all wanna be rich but we do not wanna be rich risking our real life with the life of our dreams.. Isn't it unfaithful?
Unfaithful to our dreams and then ofcourse we blame them when they get unfaithful with us.

Well, its little bitter to accept It but then this is the reality bites.

Lots of Love! Anji

Crap!

What.. Atleast after 2 months on blog!!!

Man.. True proof.. I just don like addictions.. ;) well, nah.. Several reason.. Most important n primary for me.. Do not write when u r not in the good frame of ur mind.. For its like manhandling something you love. And I love my writings.

Honestly speaking.. I have just logged in to have my presence here.. Like I am visiting one of my loved one saying hi and assuring.. "Yup man, I still exist. Just being a lil away for my solace but see, I m back here with my same grin ;) "

And now, when I m mood of talking all crapy shit.. I guess , anything besides my fancy world is same for me.. Hahaha =)).. Piscean!
I want to complain on we human nature for being dependent!
Why is it that we get so dependent on machines, processes, people, relation.. Ahhhh... Of late, a new process being launched at work have completely driven me crazy.. We have migrated from epos to cpos... Electronic point of sales to central point of sales.. But, I guess it should be renamed... "Crazy point for Sales"... What goof ups!

But, then it do prove that we human always get dependent on something we have to work on /for/ with... And why work?... It is for any case.. I mean, I am not addict but completely dependent on my BB for communication/ alarm clock/ entertainment and god knows what! (Well, if u exclude sex... BB can any day be at par wit BF).. My car, I love her.. Simply as any of my friend..

I always wonder.. Does these non-living things really know how much they mean to us and man.. If only they had feelings in them... How would have been the world then?... Quiet an interesting thought ;)

Hahhahaaa .. Can't believe, I m talking complete crap here.. But, maybe after a whole month I just wanted to write something.. So, here I did that.. Now, back to my eve chores...
Night is still awaiting me ;)


Lots of Love! Anji

Festival of Divas!

So, before the fest of 'Diyas' comes the festival of 'Divas'... Yeah, though kept for their men, women power still rules in the one of the biggest festival celebrated in India 'Karva-chauth'.

Best part of the festival is about the beauty parade we get to see on roads where almost every third women is dressed just next to bridal attire with hell lot of jewellery decorating their body. Though fasting but their faces shining with the aura of festival for they know that this is one festival which  proves the belongingness of their relation for each other.

I could not express the excitement of the festival which I witnessed in the 3 neighbourhood houses for 'Karva-chauth' seemed to be the talk of the town I am in as Punjab is the biggest hub of fasting ladies for their men on this occasion. And not to mention the long list which had been prepared a week back from new attire to new jewellery and ofcourse the plan for the day which had its planning everyday at home, executed almost daily in market and ofcourse celebrated in full spirit on the day of 'Divas'.

Yet, I always wonder that the men who are always so complaining about their married lives for all the freedom they had to let go for wives and child too somehow enjoy this festivity in full spirit. For, almost entire office was empty by 6pm except few of we singles sitting and doing our daily chores. There was a pleasure on their faces roaming out with their wives somehow admitting that they are too very excited and overvelhmed with the ritual of the fest for it is pleasure to see your better halves fasting for your long life and ofcourse love to show by fasting themselves with them.

Quiet a romantic festival if we have to mention it in one word ;)... And yeah, no doubt love is to show though it has to come in form of a festival. I always think that we should never wait once we meet our right mates to get along together for life is all about spending time together, those lil fights which can start from a small unfulfilled demand to a big expectations ... I know a couple  here and love the way their fights go on for they fight on smallest issue but yeah, just can't live without each other. Somehow, I love seeing those small fight of theirs and enjoy it most of time apologetically saying that their fights sometimes have best dialogues I can here coming out from a couple mouth.

Hahahaaaa :)... Love is strange.. It completes you in every possible way but just leaves you incomplete with an absence of one element... 'That special one' in your life.

Well.. To all those happily married and happily fighting couples... God bless you both and give you all love and togetherness!! :)

Lots of Love! Anji

I, Me and Blackberry ;)

Dooms day for the blackberry users today (atleast for me it had been). Blackberry Server not working in 6 continent. Asia and Europe completely hampered.
No mails, No IM, No FB, No life!!!... Yeah.. I hate to admit it but it is true, I am addicted to my blackberry :(
Once my love (now my ex) suggested me that I should rather marry BB than wasting time on guys.
Reason- Simple... BB are more reliable, closer , understands you completely, you can switch off-on anytime, you are always in touch with (via) it, you can express ur feeling with it.. And other zillion reasons we girls look in our men or I say rather expect from them.
But funniest part today is... Yeah, BB too can be low sometimes and can breakdown and just not be available or can just out of sight due to some reason... Hahahaaaaa =))
Well, a funny lines I heard that maybe its the rivalry that post going to heaven Steve have switched off the BB server and now we can expect lot of hassles with it. So, shall we all convert to I-phones now? (Not a bad option when 4Gs on the block ;)

Chalo, let's not get into more complications for I must admit with my cross heart that BB had been more loyal to me than many people I knew and yeah.. Somehow, I am feeling lil lost and lone without it.

So, love you my BB :)

Lots of Love! Anji

P.S- services are restored and of course we both are back to life ;)

Delhi--- I owe you :)

Everytime I walk into the city of bright nights I wonder, man how am I able to keep myself away from her. My friends and known says that I have quiet a guy approach to life... Carefree, little messed up, unorganised... So, if I think in that context, I always get confused... 'Delhi my Love or Delhi my Maa'... Confused statement!

Brought up in Delhi, I always find a warm wrap around me when I am trolling on the Delhi roads. It is said to be unsafe city for girls but I have always been embraced with love and care whatever time I had been out and freeking out in my mom's lap... 5am in morning or 2am in night. It has kept me safe and warm. Always filled with emotion and feeling that  I belong to her... Completely.

Love coz it has made me and taught me to love... It has given me my bestest friends and ofcourse love of my life. It has given me everything I ever demanded or desired for. A charm which always keep me going and keep me interested in its mood always wondering, what next she has to surprise me with.

Aaaahhhh... Delhi... I owe you... Completely... I love your roads however broken n full of pits they are for I love walking miles on them and ofcourse driving... I love your nights coz whatever maybe the time ,occasion it has always bestowed me with fresh energy and motivation of keep going what may ever it be... I love your festivals for it beholds the charm of love and festivities and spread an aura which is completely mesmerising... I love your markets, plazas, food, style.... I am truly and madly in love with you :)

Lots of Love! Anji

Doon's colonel.

Ah, this one is an adventure to share. At my tenure in UPW I got chance to visit this city of India, called Dehradun... I really do not know what brings people to this city. But, for me was the calmness of the mountain, Liquors at the local pub and not to forget Momos... Oh, I love eating them siting at the serenity of the mountain and enjoying the evening pass by slowly leaving a charm in the atmosphere.

Dehradun was a short trip as it was purely official but yes, somehow a meeting with a stranger made it memorable. Don remember the name... Colonel I address him with... 60 yrs I guess, didn't bother to ask the complete name or age... And even if he would have told me, who remembers for I was almost a half bottle down of Vodka... My fav drink and yeah can drink entire bottle with the juice without even a slight refusal from my appetite :)

So, I just have a very faint memory of evening post my heavenly feeling after the Vodka but I do remember sharing a table with this old fellow, who despite of my beautiful smile and pretty attitude (I always don) guessed some issue with my life and counselled me about something which is so very important for us but we just decide to overlook it in our lives.

Its about us. What are we by end of the journey when its time to cross the bridge. He certainly and very patiently listened from me about this guy in my life and ofcourse understood the deep pain which I had at time coz of loosing a very good friend along with a lover in an instance. What he told me was that in the end, it is actually and only we which matter. World works on two fundamental, asset and liability (believe me man, my drink almost fell off my hand listening this... He was talking so Rajeev... Hahhaaaaa, maybe I was meeting the future version). Well, so the funda is simple asset is taken for granted and liabilities are always borne. Now, if I analyse the recent accident of mine... My car was an asset for me so I am hardly bother still on the repair but 15K I took from someone for the bribery, it was the first thing I cleared. Concept proved.
So, the gentleman, sorry.. Colonel told me that being a girl you always have to act a liability even if you are asset coz this is how men brain work. My mouth was almost to my knees listening him and I was actually wondering am I a fool or this gentleman sitting in front of me or the guys I had been in relation... Really do not remember much about the eve. But yes, next time I visit the place again gonna search for the pub if possible and ofcourse colonel too. Silly me, should have taken his number too along with passing my card and have not taken him like any passing strangers of past n present.

Anyways, as a famous saying... All has to be well in end or its still not the end... Hope I meet my doon's colonel again and this time in senses to talk to him... Hahahaaaa :)

Lots of Love! Anji

Surveyor Memoirs ...

One of the thing I guess we miss in Metros are those huge plants of engineering firms producing miracles of engineer mind's geniuses. In short, where do we see an engineering plant spread in miles sphere with those huge machines always making you wonder... Man, how did on earth humans even thought of it?

It happened that today I got this opportunity (actually necessity of sales pressure) to visit a corporate and in the winds of mud, dust and smoke (not to mention the sexy white top I was donning today) something just flashed in front of eyes... Well, my trip to Kota and I guess (if I remember correctly) Agra. It happened by chance or maybe one of the benefit of being in love with surveyor that I do visited similar kind of location somewhere in year 2008-2009 and yes, at that time completely viewing those gigantic machines with the similar astonishment and of course being at the destination for no work of mine and just to accompany a dear one for his surveys. But, never did I assume in my slightest thought that ever I would get a chance to visit or witness the same aura with lot interest and of course all alone without understanding the survey logistic behind those machines and the reason they are insured when they seem so unshakeable.

All I can say that memories do play tricks with us as due to certain recent incidents in life I have to come across an Insurance company...surveyor...engineering plant... dust... Machines... thoughts... Memories...

Nothing much to share though coz I know I will always be an illiterate soul when it comes to machine, gadgets, logic etc... But what I never ignore in life are signs... Recent ones seem to be lil unexpected but still... What's the point in ignoring life when you know straight it is just looking into your eyes and daring you.

Today I just missed few explanations of someone on something which had been never important to me but I always loved listening about them from someone's angle and knowing things from his point of view... Non-important, irrelevant yet one of  urgent need of life :)

Lots of Love! Anji

Anji's accident adventure!

Talking to a friend a thought just clicked me. Listening to my recent adventure he suggested me to pen it down and my instant reply was, yes I do write blogs. But, then wait.. If I give it a thought... My life has been full of so many adventures that a series can go about it.
Sad, funny, exciting, mysterious, romantic, musical... It had witnessed all.. My Life.. It rocks man!

Well, to start with let me experience the last or say current adventure all over again. 'Rajpura accident case'... Ahh, sounding like those funny daily soaps where we have some brainies fighting the crime and solving cases. This accident had been a normal one like any other but excitement got built post certain extra-powerfull spices added later (I m referring to my favourite Judge here, Tiwariji) . I like calling him by this name. Though haven't met Tiwariji in person but he has left an unforgettable experience in my life. Wow, now this is what I call being powerful... "Zikr bhi unka utna hi wajan deta hai, jitni unke mehfil me aa jane se ho jaati.."

So, I was driving back to Patiala.. With my crazy thought and agitation to crack a corporate, I was toward my destination and here goes the big bang... Something hit my car and I went unconscious... Well, it was quite a silly experience that 5 minute of my not being in senses made me wonder so many things that it quiet became a thought like a movie I saw some year back called... "If Only"... And here I was woken up with some banging at my car door and pulled out of car to realize that I had been hit by a car.. Called WagonR.

Like my any other normal day activity, I just abused the driver and asked him to get his ass off the place for all damage he did to me but guess Police people wanted to make some money out of the incident. I was escorted to hospital with help of my few lovely colleagues and only thought on my mind was about Silky (my car) for it was I gonna be all lost wit kind of damage she incurred... And then here comes 'the Anji twist'... I will call it this way just to give it a little personal touch as if I will keep on naming 'murphy law' all time.. Murphy gonna take the credit ;)

Post few hours do I got to realize that the car which hit me was a judge car and suddenly I have become the criminal from victim for the accident. By night we(here reference is to all my sweet bosses) realized that tiwariji is not gonna spare us and yeah... I am gonna pay for all damages.

Let not to mention the Punjab Police with their huge bellies... (I always wonder, what do they keep in their ;) ... They are extreme torture man!
I have been traumatised for 4 days for the case settlement so that Tiwariji do not put any FIR against me and yeah.. Like a common man (actually woman) in all hindi movies , I finally came out robbed of few good thousands of buck to get it all sorted out.

Funniest part of the recent accident and incident was... My car got hit, I almost died, I was the victim and here tiwariji makes all money?

Ouff...Indian Law... Man, we should rename it taking murphy's help... ;)

So.. All well that ends well.. Well, end is still awaited for like me is my stories... Unpredictable... Lot to be shared back home, with people along with my well being...

Hope is the one which keeps all going... I know, its useless to not hope any such adventure again coz I know me and my life... But yeah, in all this I do forget that here I celebrate my anniversary with Punjab and in a year time no doubt I have learnt a lot.

Captured in the adventure is the memoirs of 'Tiwariji' for he gonna continue to exist in my talks atleast for a lot time ... ;)

Lots of Love! Anji

To Life...

An experience of life so unexpected sometimes we face that it gives a complete u-turn to us and ofcourse to life.

Met with a serious accident today where the car almost got crushed like the scrum of paper. But, here I go... Saved , completely  scratch less. But the 5 min of unconscious mind witnessed life so closely and the reality sometimes get so overwhelming and yes sometimes so painful.

I once have (infact a few number of times) tried to get over a phenomenon called life. To experience what lies beyond the vicious circle of what we call responsibilities. But, the day I lost something very precious to my heart did I realised that how painful it is to live with guilt of our mistakes and moreover if we do not complicate things, Life actually is beautiful.

Its beauty filled with people we love... Whose faces flashed in the brisker of second making me realize and giving me an urge to tell them how very important they are and how much I love them... More than me and even more every moment which passes by.

Yeah... There are lot of "If only..." Which crossed my mind today and I really wonder that will I be able to make ever to them or maybe someday I won't be this lucky and will pass with this feeling in my heart that If only...

Nope... Maybe that is the reason I m blessed with this day to make most of it and live life with no regrets... I know, it won't be possible to get all out of it but yes, I promise to steal most and make most out of them... :)

Here I raise a toast to life and few more years added to the kitty ... Love, Pray and Live Anji ;)

Lots of Love! Anji

" Kyun khoye khoye chand ki talaash me , firaak me udhaas hai dil... "

Strange when everything just comes rushing back to you like it was never over. Need to feel that one arm wrapped behind you telling all is gonna be well or that urge to listen to that one voice making all the stress of day go away. Really don know things which were ever there really existed or was just some expectation of an individual knowing that if anything ever go wrong, they will always hear this one comfort and will find them wrapped around the soul of one they love.

Can't help humming the lines of one of my fav song... "Aaj shab jo chand ne hai ruthne ki thaan li.. Gardishoon me hain sitaare baat humne maan li.. Andheri sah zindagi ko sujhti nahi gali.. K aaj haath thaam lo ek haath ki kami khali..."
One of my very dear friend just suggested me that I should get married. Not because of any common reason followed by an Indian society but a very special reason given by him.. He told me that I really need someone 24*7 to take care of me for the adventure full life I need. Its like I am kinda 24hrs responsibility for anybody will love to deliver it. A tigress who needs a ring master to learn some rules ;)
Hahahaaaa.. Can't stop laughing on this now.

Nah.. Its not like I am against marriages, nope!... Infact I am a kinda friend who will be the first one to help a friend to run and get married or to get married to make it more simple. But, I just do not understand commitment stature of people. Little confused that when some love how they fail to be fearless or when some care how can they ever get week to fulfil their duties.

Human as an species sometimes scares me. Not that I don have some wonderful souls around who take care of me like kid... My one of the boss says... "Few people come on earth making God so happy that he grants everything to them.. I am one of the souls." But, still I do not know why I fail to make people my part at toughest situations. Maybe coz few failed me so badly that now I can't risk of loosing more.
Any ways.. Only reason to share the thought.. Well, not only reason to share but 3 reason to share the thought.. One, being with myself whole day yeah certain things have just came rushing to me which I thought can manage without. Second, my net not working and I wanted something constructive to be done beside the Guitar. Third, well... Let that be a secret ;)



" Kyun khoye khoye chand ki talaash me , firaak me udhaas hai dil... Kyun apne aap se khafa zara zara sa udhaas hai dil... Ye manzilen bhi khud hi taye kiye... Ye faasle bhi khud hi taye kiye... Kyun naye naye se raaston pe phir chalne ko aaj hai dil...

Dil ko samjhaana kehdo kya aasan hai,
Dil to fitrat se hi sunlo na baimaaan hai,
Ye khush nahi hai jo mila,Bas maangta hi hai chala,
Dil ki har laagi ka sunlo, dard hi hai ek sila...."

Ouffffff...

Lots of Love! Anji

I'll Always Care...

I'll Always Care

by BigDawg

Some days I feel happy. Other times I just feel sad. I think back on the memories. And all the special things I had. Some what Ive become stronger. And some what Ive become weak. I thought living would be hard. But Ive found it's easier to breath. I didn't wanna let go. But it's the only alternative I had. I moving on to the future. Although I'm a little bit stuck in the past. Memories still remain. But they will never fade. Letting go made it easier. And I feel better everyday. All though your still on my mind. And that's how it always will be. Ill never stop loving you. You're forever apart of me. You'll always be my. And you'll always be in my heart. I wish for all the happiness you need. But I think it's better off we stay apart. Ill always be here for you. Don't be afraid to give me a call. Don't let everything we had disappear. And don't let our friendship fall. If you ever need a hand to hold. Mine will always be there. Don't ever forget that I love you. And remember I'll always care..

tamaam umr yun hi majboor rahi uski aankhen...

aksar rote hue usne mere daaman ko bhigoya hai...

Lots of Love! Anji

Untitled!

Don knw what title to give to this thought...

Its sunday and I just got free after spending time with a boy I love... Yeah, drunk and certainly putting feelings on canvas or sheet in such situation is a challenge... Never thought that I will get someone who will make me forget him. Not that he is too caring or in love with me so much.. But, just his feature reminds me of somebody who had been so close to the heart at some point of time.

A lips which any women will crave for... Pink like rose and complexion just like the vampire I lure... Just blood less... Daksh, reminds me of him and ofcourse about lot of certainties if life would have been on the path destiny decided.

What is the thought about?... This is the common question which crops in my head and ofcourse of my readers everytime I put a blog here... Just listening to a song.. "Tum bin jaaun kahan' a tweet came across which said that in our life we always have someone we loved with our whole heart and destiny decided him for us.
Sometimes I feel, he and me have the same destiny... It was all decided. We were just set to be together in all circumstances of life we faced. But, somewhere he had been unsure.
Last blog I wrote about where I specially mentioned about getting back was about care. Once feelings end, we still have rhat care which just not let us slip the past with ease we want. Or is it love. A feeling which never let us move on with the best time we ever had in our lives. A feeling so confusing... Yes, love.

Listening to that sentence on "we always have loved someone truely in our lives... Maybe despite of all differences we had".. I always wonder, was it love that I had with him.. And if it was, why wasn't it powerful. Who was the one who let the things go.. Was I at fault or he?

Aaahhhh..let it be... Why to remember few things when they do not matter anymore... We both moved on with our lives.. Happy and blessed.. Only thing which I can say is that we were and are blessed with love... Let's live it :) :)

Lots of Love!Anji

Krishna- lets desire him this janmashtami :)

So, here come the birthday of the "Love Guru"... well, no... I have always adored Krishna... like all females, I too have this huge crush on the universe most charming personality and now as today is his birthday... cant deprive my thoughts to posses him for a while.

Krishna teaches us about Love in various forms... Divine, Pure and something which is beyond words.

"Laddoo Gopal"- Adorable son for whom any lady will give away her heart. Notorious little brat of mom, who is still irresistible after all his pranks and mischief.Be it be for mother Yashoda or any female of the village... Kanhaiya has been a son for whom any mother heart will crave for.

"Krishna"- sweetheart of all the ladies of town who controlled the rhythm of every heart with his flute. Krishna, have taught world the power of giving love to many at one time and feeling so pure and complete for everyone that never he broke anybodies heart and accepted each love with pleasure and gave to all in equal gratitude.

"RadheKrishna"- a name which is one of two inseparable soul. Radha was the mortal lover of krishna and the love was valued beyond any ritual of the universe that in spite of being married to Rukmani (incarnation of Lakshmi)  who was the better half of him, he still gave the complete possession of his name to Radha. Love beyond any bounding has been the language of Krishna.

"Mohana"- A name which is used in context of Meera... Devotee of Krishna who left her complete identity and existence for love of her life and soul. story just not hidden from anybody.

Krishna have given himself to everybody in whichever form people desired him... Son, Lover, Husband, Lord, Teacher, friend, Brother, savior...

well, writing about him and feeling Krishna today... I too desire him in the two adorable form... Son and Lover...

May this janmashtmi he gives blessing to our faith and come to us too in the form we desire him...

Lots of Love! Anji

Love or Care?

recently i had been going through some old chats of past conversation with somebody i adored a lot at time... the references wasn't due to the fact that all of sudden a vacuum was felt and mind got into the sudden need of filling it... but, it was more for a validation to the recent finding i came across. Well, now days it is more like exploring relations because entire world concept seems to be in confused state...

botheration of the hour was on a discussion... is it really love or care that we feel for somebody?

i mean... when things get over... and a feeling still remains and we can still feel a pull for someone very well knowing that at least now everything is over... then what is it that hangs on?

A pinch always at back of mind confirming someone's well being?
somebody name in prayers?

moreover when heart and mind is in sync knowing that it is not love anymore... then what?

care?

and then, when this feel is there... who is in much need of other?
one who cares about or one that is cared...
really don know... maybe still  finding an answer and like have to rush somewhere... ( I knw, its 1am in night but....) so, not much of analysis i am doing...

let me get back in the Sequel... ;)

Lots of Love! Anji

The Universal one again--- men and their Women ;)

Now I have this very weird problem that when a thought is revolving in mind. I have to let it go else it is just impossible to think, to do work, to talk ... N blah blah blah...

What it is this time... Well, the most common or say universal topic of debate... Guys and Girl... Or let's put it... Men v/s Women.

No.. no.. There is no gyan , no fights, no discussion about the weaker power.. Just the thoughts for recently I have had lot many incidents to share... Of course quiet an exciting ones too which can make upto huge gossips.. Only if I reveal names ;)... But, I m not gonna b a bitch (something I m famous for)... Hahahhaaaa :)

Okay.. So the experiences... Ah, lemme start with Females.. Ladies first, quiet a golden rule though don know who made it ;)

A friend of mine happens to be in an abusive relation... I am using this string word because I can't take the guy here to be human completely destroying a lady life but can't blame him completely for it is a two way highway... Where we have traffic (here I m referring to feelings) at both side. So, knowing everything and though being cheated she still bothers about the relation and still finds it hard to move on. But why?... Is the dependency really too much?.. But how can be anybody dependent on such relation by any means where you know you will never have a faithful support.
What is it that still ties the bond... Care?... Nah... Can't agree to it for I do not seem much of relevance to this word here. But then, if I judge (well, I must accept I m nobody to do it) feelings at both end... Can't help analysing that a female stand out to be an emotional fool and the guy a quiet manipulative dog. So, fool and a Dog.. Not a worthy combo .. Is it?

Second instance happens to be a quiet common we see (I guess females have few dark secrets which can always become a coffee table talk...  ;)
So, this colleague of mine happened to be a quiet secretive lady where her life is complete secret to her man... Number of past boyfriends, sex life , few habits... And of course she has this very strong sentence to make... "No man have a heart to accept her girl the way she is... He may have any past and reputation but his lady should always be a clean material ... So, sell this to them and you will be the best they will have.." Hmmmm... Well, she has quiet an experience so can't contradict the statement for yes maybe for men girl friends n wives are two separate world .. So, she have enjoyed her life as a girlfriend n sold herself well as wife... Profit! Profit! Again who m I to judge a relation n a person but what do we call this deal here... A smart ass with a fool or shall I call guy coward... For she maybe right in her place that nobody have guts... So, when u do not have guts for the bitter truths u are always tricked with sweet lies... And yeah.. A smart ass can be called coward too by many... But, when somebody is in profit situation... You are the gainer what may it be ... Ouffff... :P

Two ladies n one coward and one dog... Nah... This time it is about two cowards here...

Guy meets a girl... (Not to forget they had their past, been all by themselves for quiet a time now...) Have a strange liking to an extent of been through an awesome acquaintance beyond being strangers or just friends... And still, no acceptance on relation.
Girl- too scared of commitment... Can't bear married life and bonding and bounding.. Like the guy but then no relation expected or accepted...

Guy- engaged.. Will get married soon... Engaged to a long time sweetheart... Still don wanna be in relation to sacrifice freedom but marriage has to happen for social obligations are always unbearable..

So.. A coward girl not ready to accept situation.. A coward guy committed but still not ready for commitment.. Life gives a strange combo sometimes...

I happened to watch Ugly Truth few days back where the concept has been simple... Girls think from brains n guys.. Aah u knw from where... So, where is the heart when two souls are in relation?

Maybe hearts are to RIP for trends seems to be quiet trendy now days... We actually do not want love as relations are simple calculations on profit n loss...

No risk, no loss, no profit... Just a lil enjoyment or... Take risk, enjoy life, don share and you will be a gainer...

Iiikkksss... Quiet a debatable topic... For can anybody come and claim the possession of love in relation...??... Anybody??...

Something reminding me of the recent release Delhi Belly here... Hahahhahaaaa =))

We don have complexities... We invite them... Crap!
Entire world is complex... We just need to overlook everything to RIP or bring the change till we RIP.. Change???... Man, what's happened to me now... Change for what... All three stories protagonist are quiet happy with the situations (barring lady of first though)... So, why to get bothered when trend seems to be of Love, Sex aur Dhokha darling ;)

Cheers!

Lots of Love! Anji

A month... Actually a year!

Strange feeling but cant help writing... as usual you see... Visited 'The Joker's profile"... I like calling it this way... I like remembering it this way... I don knw why but still... maybe we all move on life but it is simply amazing that how few things just hold us for seconds and make our present so tough and difficult for us.

I am on blog after a month... no, I didnt stopped writing... Hibernation...  We artist do it a lot time... Just getting completely in trance and then getting back to our real self.

so, month is for the blog... Year is for the thoughts.... both have come to mind with their own time frames.

mmmmm.... okay, i know writing is like getting naked in public... you just open your thoughts like your cloths. Only difference is when you are in love with it you make love and enjoy the aura of holding your thoughts so passionately in your arms and kissing each moment and planting your soft hands on each part (thoughts).... If you just enjoy... It is like sex... simple , sweet, hardworking.... but yeah, you enjoy it and when writing comes out of disgust, bad thoughts, hatred, negativity... you assault it. So, as a rule i never write when i am in such mood...

but what is it today?
Love?... care?
I exactly do not know.... it is kinda jumbled up feeling or maybe it is just a feeling for someone you do not how to react at?
You still adore each shit of someone, still you want to be sophisticated about your hygiene... quiet a strange feeling of human mind... I can never figure out this one...
maybe someday... One day i will and life can be little easier and at pace.

anyways... honest confession can be only that visiting someone after a year you still wanna make love to can confuse your entire logical thoughts and counters... But still, with someone thought in my mind and fingers on the keyboard... It gives me a feeling of smooth movement of my hands on his body and each letter i am penning (typing) down is like planting a kiss and telling... Yeah, I still do care and i will :)

Lots of Love! Anji

Ecstasy or Love....???

taaron ki jhurmut me, ghumsum se khoye se... bethe ho kyun raeth par...
aao na paas aao, aise na tadpao.... do pal ka saath hai ye...
Rango ko haathon me sama jaane do, mujhme tum sama jaao ya mujhko samalo inn saason me...
waada hai tumse, tera saath dunga.... jab tak hain saansen... tere sang jiyunga....

My all time favorite song for it always sooth me and my mind... an awesome song which always refreshes me...beats,  music, ambiance and memories... Deadly combo I must say. And when it comes to memories and ambiance... Nothing can beat the feeling of being in love... little crazy and emotional dialogue I must say but then being in Love always have a different aura...

Its always amazing to smile to someone text in the middle of the day, closing your eyes begging someone to let you sleep and opening it with someone's message always at your bedside.

Waiting entire day to talk to the one for few minutes in the evening or making thousand excuses with entire world to meet that one for just for seconds.

Stealing those kisses in public , or just sleeping yourself in someone's lap for you are too lazy to leave their side and go to bed. Doing every small thing possible to please that one soul and fighting your heart out with that one just because you are little upset with the world's way and then that one person insensitivity towards your bad mood :)

Promising every small thing in world to someone and forgetting those big days and then putting all your efforts to set their mood right and then laughing over your silliness and fact that oh man, you are so crazily-madly in love with this person sitting next to you smiling and telling that only thing they want as of now is to be together...

Love indeed is amazing...

and Music... mesmerizing... which charms you to the eternity of love... which makes you get lost in an ecstasy beyond words, sense, thoughts...

Yeah... with the current song I am humming and singing loud...I imagine... cold beach with chillier breeze... fire, drinks, music and you- Me and your comfortable lap... No words... just a feeling... so special, so divine...

Rango ko haathon me, sama jaane do... Mujhme tum sama jaao ya mujhko sambhalon inn saason me....

Lots of Love! Anji

I am She... Proud to be a Girl ;)

My sister just sent me an article recently... and I was quiet shocked to read the content... well, shocked wouldn't be the right word here... I was more of content and proud after  reading it for it was about a recent study by some doctor (name I forgot, but would love to share the article incase you want it personally). It was all about a healthy heart.

we all know that best way to health is happiness and way to happiness is friendship. Yes, friendship. Do any of us tell me one moment of life when we were unhappy with friends?
No! at least I do not remember any. I have always felt complete with them. But, article was more about having a lady as friend. Now, I am not being gender biased here. It is just about a study I agree with completely. It said, that when we are friends with guys... best we share is our drinks, smoke, secret and talks about general world but not our emotions... An old movie we all heard about "boys don't cry"... but, we all need a mate to share this part of ours and that study showed and proved that girls are best mate to share our hearts, emotions for when we get into any relation we give our souls to it.
Now, again I am not being a praise hungry woman holding the flag for the womanhood... Best example to prove this point of the doctor i can relate is our mothers. Whatever or who ever we are we are accepted completely by them and given always the best by her... though she never gets anything in return for what she is worthy of.

sisters... another angels on earth... when, two sisters or when a guy have a sister ... we can share our entire world with her... always... our first BF, a new lovely dress, our dates, our bad habits, our bad mood, our new girlfriend, latest crush... anything and that too with so much of ease irrespective of our age differences but then this level of comfort is not with the bros... No offenses to anybody but yeah... we are never so open to them... our friends become are better secret keepers instead here...

Our female friends... man, they are so caring... I have one... very close to my heart... Vijaylaxmi and we call her Amma out of love... she is full of love, care... never in my life there has been a time when I couldn't share something and maybe my bad emotions with her (well, sometimes I don't... for she is too very emotional). and, yes I have my guys friend too the strong and emotional hulks but they never understand life from my perspective, becomes judgmental and just too strong to let the emotions flow... And, when it comes to friend... I am too is one of the best my friends have for that is the constant compliment i have got from them and of course I have never disappointed them on this... and, not to remind... but I am a Girl too... :)
so, healthy heart guaranteed ;)

Anyways... the crux to entire theory is only that we as humans can always open are hearts best with ladies for they are blessed with sensitivity, patience, love, understanding and power to heal.

There are times when we come completely lost back home due to the hardship of the day we have faced and we get these women there always with a cup of tea and telling us that how happy they are to have us back after a long tough day and now it is our time to relax.

We know, when to let down our hairs and party, when to tie them back and be at your service with love, how to enjoy life by giving and not asking for anything in return... we know when to love you a lot to make your day shine and when to just give you a little kiss on forehead and express that you are important... when to scold you and show you the path which will take you to life and when to tightly hold your arms and ask to to just stay beside and safe.

So.. well, I am proud to be a girl and I happy about the fact that we care... a lot and from our souls :)

Lots of Love! Anji

Agnee - SHAM TANHA... :) :) :)

Just tpoo drunk to writev anything... but one of my fav song....

and i want to write a lot.... tomorrow maybe :)

but then... stilllll...........

Lots of Love!Anji

Series of uncertain thoughts..........

Do not know as to what title i must give to this... it is like chain of uncertainties... An incomplete night and restless me.
I wrote it few months back aloneness calms and somewhere i have got a huge belief in it... It do. Nothing can beat the feeling and aura of being completely you... No faces to put, nobody to explain yourself and nothing to be done to please other. But, just wandering... what is it that holds one back so strongly that sometimes we are just not ourself... So unconscious and uncertain with our thoughts... It is like that your thoughts have wings... huge , big and wide ones... Just not ready to settle in all its flight.
It acts just like our hearts... holding feelings without any reasons...

An act just so undefined or say so well controlled...

I know i have confused you all a lot... No, there is nothing wrong and I am in my complete senses too... No drinks today (Maybe, that is why I am writing all this nonsense... Drinks do make you talk sense man !)
Alright... Jokes apart... I am just confused on few (actually many) acts. its like-

• why when we know that the lady standing in front of us, holds our entire world we still do not let her get involved with it? (here I am referring to our moms... why like pschyos we always ask her to stay out of our lives when we know that she is the only one who created it!
• Being with someone you know that the only thing you wanna do is to hug that person tightly, plant a kiss on their lips and tell... Hey look, I don know how I am gonna manage but I know that you are the only one I can have my life with and without that it go completely unmanageable...So, lets keep aside the shit of formalities and be to the place where we belong!
• When we know that the only respite of life is to talk to that one person in the world, we still do everything possible with our will to not talk to them just because we want to prove a point that life can be lived without you.
• We know that it is one life we have got... You and me... but still we spend it according to the thoughts and expectations of other.
• I am being asked to be cautious when i do certain daring activities... but isn't life is about that one moment?

Why is it we all become so careful with life when we know that next moment who knows that maybe this is my last writing i ever shared with you... I always wonder that wasn't life was at it best when we were with our friends... so carefree, full of love-Life... why is it now that we all have grown?

why we feel guilty irritating and bothering our parents now when we know that through our entire childhood we have bothered them without any thoughts... why  we get so concerned when spending time with that one person we want (Don we remember... As a kid we all were so open about our best mates... even to an extent that we declared our marriages with them without knowing a fact about this legal relation....)

Why we get so cautious taking a joy-ride when we rode our first bicycle with so much fun.... Why cant we jump into water without knowing how to swim when we jumped into so many things as a kid without knowing where that path will take us....

I feel... Life is to be lived, not regret... If you do not like something, be open about it... Abuse, cry, shout... but tell that you do not like that!

Don hide behind the veil of cultured society!

If you love something... show!... never think even twice what that gonna get you in return... that one feeling gonna stay with you forever even if life wont!

Life is short... Yeah... really very short and believe me its twist and turns can sometimes make you witness another world in the same spain so never ever be cautious with it... Live to fullest for I believe we should not waste it just waiting for it to get over if we are burdened, to get it exciting if we are bored or for the changes to occur if we cannot change things not as per our likes...
Anyways... enough gyan on the series of uncertain thoughts...

Lots of Love! Anji

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.............. I love the song... movie too ;)

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine
I'll make my bed and take my pills on time
And when I see somebody on the street
I make sure I say Hello, I say Hello
Don't worry about me, I'll be good
And I'll do all the things you said that I should
And when I see somebody on the street
I make sure that I smile (though I can't stand them)
They'll never know
They'll never see
They'll never get through to me, get through to me, get through to me..
Don't worry about me, I'll be OK
I'll be the quiet one when there's nothing to say
Just sitting by himself in the corner singing this song
Thinking of you..............

Don't worry about me, I'll be allright
It's just that haven't slept for 64 nights
Coz sleep won't come without your arms wrapped around my soul
They'll never know...

It's not that I got something to hide
It's just that, just that I got nothing inside
It feels like, feels like bulb in my ceiling went out
And I'm stuck in dark without you
No, I know I said that I won't even cry
But, but you gone so I see don't why
I shouldn't be spending every single day curled up on my floor
Thats my soul
Yeah I know there'll be times when we'll meet
Get a cup of tea or maybe pass on the streets
And everytime you look into my eyes you'll se I'm living this life
(just fakin it)
They'll never know
They'll never see
They'll never get through to me, get through to me, get through to me
They'll never know
They'll never see
Coz you are the only one, only one who ever knew me

Lots of Love! Anji

this is how it is...

Socha na tha... the most underrated movie of Imtiaz Ali... (maker of Love Aaj kal and Jab we met). Well, I love his all 3 love stories. But, this is a little confused one. To know the fun you have to know the movie. A complete practical fun... You see, either you accept or change things...
I love the song for it include the entire crux of not any relation but life.

well, this is how life is and even relations... full of dreams, hopes and expectations. But, do all get fulfilled?

As we grow up our hearts get broken and we too break few in the process. Few become learnings and few pain but then life goes on friends! It always does and we too have to move giving damn to lot many things.

So what, if few dreams have remained unfulfilled? So what if we did not get few things the way we wanted? We still have to and will continue the fight and move on in life!

well, rest is the song of-course... Amazingly beautiful and yes, my recommendation to watch the movie UAC this weekend.

Lots of Love!Anji

Love... its indeed amazing...

I know, i am famous for my crazy bits... But then, another to add into it. I am writing 2 am in the night. What is keeping me awake?... Don't ask !
What is more important is... why am i writing this blog?
Oh honestly nothing... Yes, it is nothing important for maybe the matter is no more part of my life... or maybe it is still my life. Strange na?
Yeah... for me too.
It is how so stupid... i mean very very stupid when you still let someone occupies the entire space of your heart when maybe you does not even exist in the pieces there.
Women!
or maybe it is general...general phenomenon for  people so madly in love.
Nobody's fault... Yes, believe me... There is no harm when you still love someone with your complete soul and know that no matter whatever happens, where ever you go or who ever you would be with, the person will always be your sunshine lighting your face and eyes in the gloomiest days of your life and just a small mention of that name would bring back a million dollar smile on your face. Yes, there is no harm in loving and Loving with your full heart, complete soul and true feelings. For love is the most beautiful experience of our life and no matter how hard it would be later or maybe painful but it will still hold its value and aura in the most pure form compared to any other feeling of the world.
it is like somewhere I heard, if you know why you love the person it is your liking towards the one and if you do not know why you love that person... that my friend is true love. Love which is selfless, unconditional and priceless.
Then why do people hurt the one they love?... maybe they do not hurt. They are just not able to protect the one whom they love and that is no crime, it is not their fault if they were not able to stand strong... maybe they needed more at the time we expected!
Cant it be true? well yes, if we really claim to know the person, this has to be true... else if a love which hurts cannot be love in  the first place...

Well... why am I writing this 2 am in the night?

maybe just wanted to tell someone that... Yes my love, I know bad happened, we felt weak, even hurt you in way i never wanted but remember always... till my last breath i would still hold your love with the same aura i behold it today and you would always be the most precious person in my life, because i have never loved anything or anyone so much in my life the way I loved your smile.
and for me, it was not only you who was adorable but your every little faults and imperfections would always be treasured in my thoughts for I know you were the most imperfect man i ever met but you were perfect in all my ways...this day or till the day it last... I will always Love you!
(Man... Nice lines... I am gonna copyright it... will get me fortune in return;) )
Okay... time to buzz off...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Lots of Love! Anji

Rahul and Rajeev- Forbidden Destinies!

Life is short... Joyride you must say. i heard it in some book... "never take life too seriously, for no one gets out alive." I forgot the rules!

No, its not about me... But it is more about a part of me.

its not about same parts... It is about Destinies.So Different, yet so same.

It is about Rahul and Rajeev!

I have been taught... feedbacks should always start on positive note (Ahhh, Vodafone Quality!... unbeatable) anyways, it is not about feedbacks, it is about two 'Rs'..... See, the first similarity... The names!

but the question is where is it same?

R- R A H U L... now, you must be waiting with that sarcastic smile on... Rajeev has 6 letters... but, let me make it clear... Rajeev was "RAJEEV" for me, but it was R- "R A J I V".

Shocked?
i am too :)

so, both lads...

> Ambitious- For money is the only thing they both died/die for (maybe the partner in their lifes) Money makes everything... You, Me, them.... everything!
you own money and you own everything. feelings doesn't matter!... never had they!
Money will compensate for all.

> Families- Family pride comes after everything. The things we are proud of is the only good things in the world. Rest?... who cares?... I think, this is the typical Punjabi way !

>You got it right!- Punjabis.... The maddest community in the world... God knows, why they hate Sardars! They need to learn more from them... If Sardars are mad as commodity... THEY ARE COMPLETE ASSHOLES!

> Love makers- Well, I wanted to use the other word here but it is just the respect to the diction that i have forbidden it... But, who had been at par... maybe some other day!

> Lovers- Showing love is the most difficult task in the world. But, both the guys are at par in this task. They knew how to express it in word, feelings and hatred... they knew the art !

> Loners- Yes, life without friend and Life with lot of friend with noone to call your own leads to this word. LONERS!

> Cowards-Backing out of situations and not knowing how to face one is cowardliness. This word is also expressed better when you just aren't sure of your own decisions but still believe that you are the most worthy decision maker coz you are just too scared to accept your defeat. Or when you hide in shelter of sacrifices coz you are just too scared on turning tables and believing your own beliefs.

> Weak - Well, when you don't stand to your own heart and your self, you are weak. however affluent, powerful you had been... But, that moment you are weak.

> Best Friends- When some one knows to make you laugh in the toughest situation and in most complicated and serious jokes of life. They are your best friends.

> Loosers- When you loose your will and heart to worldly affairs. YOU ARE ONE!

..... well, before i go on naming few more similarities.. somewhere i feel they were the equivalent destinies with the same mass of performance for how can two individuals be so similar when this is not possible between two siblings!

maybe... they had been brother of some birth or maybe this life they had to come together as living example for a commodity called " BOYS"........ CONFUSED, UNCERTAIN, WEAK, LIARS, DITCHERS... anyways... Lets not disturb the brotherhood more of two assholes ruling the lives of uncertainties and leading the life of loosers!

May God... Let you shine like those bright less moons... who always borrow their lights for star and still proclaims to be the most beautiful thing in this universe!

maybe... It is better you always remain as FORBIDDEN DESTINIES!

Lots of Love! Anji

Hum jise gunguna nahi sakte.... One songs , defines all :)

Lots of Love!Anji

Those birthdays were so special....

Those birthdays were so special,
when entire year we waited to dress in casuals and go to school!
to treat our friends with candies and return gifts,
when all birthdays were about collecting gifts and being special for mom and dad,
to be the most pampered in the home and the attention seeker of the school,
those birthdays were so special,
when its was only about school,gifts,dresses...wow,so cool!

Those birthdays were so special,
when i grew up to be a teenage girl,
casuals were so embarrassing to don anymore,
and now it was only about those lavished treats to friend,
mom-dad still called me the darling of their hearts,
and friends were all there to celebrate,
those birthdays were so special,
when it was about the parties, an increase in pocket money and friends,
yeah it was special for I was the growing Teenage girl!

That birthday was so special when first did i turn eighteen,
it was all about the freedoms and no more about the treat at canteens,
it was all about being allowed at the discs and some special movie premiers,
it was about driving your own car and zooming up the gear,
that birthday was really special as it was all about the freedom to celebrate,
your words will matter in law of court as you have given away your teen!

Those birthdays were again special when 3 years it was all about Friends,
they completed my family for they were my best pals I ever had,
it was all about forgetting the day and remembering late in evenings,
saying sorry for it gonna be only the last time I forgot and going for celebrations in those famous DU canteens,
those birthdays were so special when you always received a secret gift,
laughing out with friends for each day had been special and this was never missed,
those birthdays were so special when i always had you guys around,
celebrating with laughters and joy ,so loud!

Those birthdays were so special when I celebrated them with my official colleagues,
cake all over the face and Champagne on the floor,
when the pocket were just full of funds but heart missed those friends,
those birthdays were ... nah, not so special when no time for celebrations and only worry was monthend!

And yes... those years were again so special when you were the first one to wish and always claim "Hey,I wished you first"
and those birthdays were always so special when you come around to celebrate,
and that was too special when the first time you Gifted me You,
and that too when it was the "last Hug" all you have to give...

Well, its the same day again and i know like always Mom is with joy for today was the day she got blessed with motherhood,
my friends got an idiot in the group,
my family have someone to bother them always,
my colleagues have someone so dependable,
Yes, today is the day which finally completes me as me for I know I am here,
smiling with joy and gratitude for having each one of you around..
for this birthday is very special for I know, Its about Love, Family, Joy and You..

Lots of Love! Anji

Aaj virane me baitha soch raha main, Khwaish mere ruh ki.. (an old one...)

Aaj virane me baitha soch raha main,
Khwaish mere ruh ki..

Bahut bana deewana jag me
Tha ek manchala parwana tab main
Aaj sthirta main baitha soch raha main
Khwaish mere ruh ki..

Khushiyan thi aapar hi meri
Kaamyabi bas jeevan dhar thi meri
Aaj haar k shan me baitha soch raha main
Khwaish mere ruh ki..

Apne kabhi na apne mere
Rehte mujhpar bas bahar k ghere
Aaj mehfil me baitha soch raha main
Khwaish mere ruh ki..

Prem kabi na tha raag ye mera
Preyasi par rehta sada vairaag mera
Yaad kisi ko kar betha soch raha main
Khwaish mere ruh ki...

Har jeet b meri har haar b mera
Is jeevan k juyen me har daav b mera
Par khatm hue is khel par betha soch raha main
Khwaish mere ruh ki...

Kaliyon k khilne se na matlab mera
Sukhe paton se hi ghar sajta hai mera
Patjhad me betha soch raha me
Khwaish mere ruh ki...

Sailabon pe hi hamesha ghar banta hai mera
Lehron se takrakar hi ghar chalta hai mera
Baitha ab baadh me soch raha main
Khwaish mere ruh ki...

Khushiyon se unke na koi matlb mera
Teez tyohar se na unke kuch lena mera
Betha magar unke maatam me soch raha main
Khwaish mere ruh ki...

Tum socho khudgarz mujhe hi
Moh-mamta mujhme na sahi hi
Aaj magar apne ashkon se puch raha main
Khwaish mere ruh ki...


Lots of Love! Anji

अधुरा है मगर फिर भी पूरा क्यूँ है, तेरा ये रिश्ता मुझसे टूटता क्यूँ नहीं....

ख्वाब ज़िन्दगी और मोहब्बत एकदम एक जैसे होते हैं...ख़ूबसूरत, कुछ पल क लिए और अधूरे... एकदम उसकी तरह.

मुझे आज भी नहीं पता वो कौन सी बात है जो मुझे उस में सब्सी अची लगती थी... उसके सपने, जो की अक्सर अधूरे थे पर वो उनमे यकीन रखता था और मुझे उस यकीन से मोहब्बत थी, क्यूंकि मुझे लगता था की शायद मैं कभी उन सपनो को अपने भगवान् से ज़रूर अपनी किसी चीज़ के बदले मांग कर उसे तोहफे में दे दूंगी और मैं ये जानती थी की उसकी हसीं से ज्यादा बड़ा तोहफा मेरे लिए नहीं हो सकता!

या फिर मुझे मोहब्बत थी उसकी उस अदा से जब वो हमेशा मुझे उसका होने का यकीन दिलाता था और मैं जानती थी की उस घेरे से मैं कभी बहार जा ही नहीं सकती थी, कम से कम मेरे लिए ये नामुमकिन था... उसकी दोस्ती?

पर दोस्त तो मेरे आज भी हैं और शायद उस से कहीं ज्यादा मेरा ख्याल रखने वाले क्यूंकि अक्सर तो उसका ख्याल मैं रखती थी...पर उसका ख्याल रखना मुझे बहुत अछा लगता था, अछा उसकी हसीं से कम पर मेरी हसी से ज्यादा.

ये भी हो सकता है की मुझे उसकी आँखें पसंद थी, वो आँखें जिनको मन कर पाना मेरे बस के बाहार था...वो आंखे जो हमेशा वो बोलती थी जो उसके दिल में होता था..वो भी बोलता था पर उसे कभी उसके दिल की बात पता नहीं होती, और उसकी ऑंखें सब कुछ जानती हैं.

वैसे उसकी कमजोरियां भी हो सकती हैं... मुझे वो भी पसंद थीं.. उसका अक्सर कल में उलझे रहना, कुछ ऐसे ख्वाब देखना जो पूरी करने की उसने कभी कोशिश नहीं की, सबको खुश रखना, खुद अन्दर से सख्त होने का दिखावा करना, उसकी जिद, बेमानी बातें, हर दिन एक नया पागलपन...सभी कुछ तो.. सभी से प्यार था और अपनी इस आदत से भी की उसकी हर बात मैं बहुत गंभीरता से लेती थी... चाहे वो कोई नया बचपना ही क्यूँ न हो..!

बचपना भी हो सकता है, उम्र कुछ ज्यादा तो थी नहीं.. मेरी उम्र का ही तो था.. और मुझसे ज्यादा बचपना किस्मे है?

वैसे किसी ने कहा था बचों को बचे बहुत भाते हैं, उनमे इर्षा नहीं होती और ना हर चीज़ को तोल कर करने की आदत.. वो तो बस हर काम दिल से करते हैं, खुसी से.. और दिल से ज्यादा तो जज्बातों का ख्याल कोई रख ही नहीं सकता.

दिल तो बड़े तोड़ देतें हैं,अपनी जिद से या अपनी बंदिशों से या फिर अपनी कुर्बानियों से... हम भी तो बड़े होकर यही करते हैं... छोटे थे तो कहाँ किसी की परवाह करते थे, जो चीज़ अची लगी उसके साथ अपने पूरा दिल लगा लेते थे, बिना कुछ सोचे समझे :)

फिर भी सोचूं तो आज तक मतलब समझ नहीं आया मुझे... 

अधुरा है मगर फिर भी पूरा क्यूँ है,

तेरा ये रिश्ता मुझसे टूटता क्यूँ नहीं..

कौन सी बात है जो आज तक दिल घेरे हुए है,

तेरा बनाया वो दायरा मुझसे छूट ता क्यूँ नहीं..

किस साज़ पर नाचती है ज़िन्दगी अब तक,

सुरों की फिर नयी कोई साज़िश तो नहीं..

कब कहा मोहब्बत नहीं है तुझसे,

सिर्फ चुप हूँ इसका मतलब नहीं तो नहीं..

Lots of Love! Anji